5 Must-Read Books like How to Win Friends and Influence People

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If you are looking for a book for self-development, then ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ is a great choice. This book was published in 1937 by ‘Dale Carnegie’ based on some core physiologies of human beings that still offer the same value in 2021.

The more you understand human physiology, the more you read the mind of others, the easier it would be to deal with them. If you have already read this book and searching for similar vibes, we can assure you that – you have come to the right place. We looked into the Self-Help genre and analyzed different books to find the best that will fulfill your need.

In this article, we will share some books like How to Win Friends and Influence People that will help you to develop yourself in different areas. I also reviewed some books that authors like Dale Carnegie wrote.

Book Name

Author/Authors Name

Reasons To Pick

Rating

Get This Book

Think and Grow Rich

Napoleon Hill

Best Book For Personal Development

Rich Dad Poor Dad

Robert T. Kiyosaki

Best Book On Personal Finance

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living

Dale Carnegie

Best Book For Stressless Lifestyle

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Stephen Covey

Best Book For Learning Critical Skills

The Power of Habit

Charles Duhigg

Best Book On Habit Formulation

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How to win friends and Influence People Summary

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Lesson one: you can’t win an argument

‘Dale’ has been observed and involved in thousands of arguments in his entire life. He came to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument – and that is to avoid it

Avoid it as you would avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes.

Dale Carnegie

However, it’s hard to win an argument. Even if you win one, you lose. Why??… Well, because you’ve tried to shoot on other arguments full of holes to prove them wrong.

This will hurt their sense of pride and make them feel inferior. If you rankle, argue, or contradict, you’ll win. But, this will be an empty victory because you’ll never get your opponent’s goodwill. So, in a conversation, you can show your opinion, the facts you have, the data that you have collected in any way that doesn’t hinder or hurt the other person’s opinion. 

Lesson two: Never tell a man he is wrong

If you are going to tell someone “you are wrong,” you need to give them some strong reasons to come back to your arguments and just topple all of your other arguments and supporting details. Even if you show them a whole bunch of logical reasons and acceptable, you have already said that “you are wrong” at some points.

If you really want to change someone’s mind, you need to avoid looking like you’re trying to change their mind. As you want to prove anything, don’t let them know you are going to prove it.

If you want to make a statement that you think he/she is wrong, it’s better to point it out by saying, “I thought otherwise, but I might be wrong.” The key is to say that you might be wrong, not that you are wrong. 

Lesson three: Ask questions instead of giving orders

Whenever you are able to communicate your order in the form of questions, the other person will likely act on it in good faith and much more quickly. For example, you want somebody to get you a cup of coffee. Instead of telling the person, “go and get me a cup of coffee,” You can tell the person, “Can you get me a cup of coffee.”  

Lesson four: Remember names

In our daily life, we get introduced to strangers, we talk for a few minutes, and we don’t even remember their names. We tell ourselves, “we are bad at names.” We don’t make an effort to try and remember their names. No one is bad with names unless he/she is fish because fish have really bad memories. 

So what can you do???

Whenever you meet someone new, you find the complete name, some facts about his/her families, and little details and fix all the facts in your mind and paint a picture of that person.

This is a mnemonic which is a memory tactic that helps you remember the person even if it was a year later. 

Lesson Five: Talk in terms of others interests

If you talk to people about what they are passionate about, you will witness them come alive.

Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours.

Dale Carnegie

Talk about people’s travel all over the world, talk about their unique hobbies or talk about the simplest of most mundane things that may be born to you but may excite them where that could be books, cat, songs, movies etc. It doesn’t matter if you care about influencing someone; you need to talk in terms of that person’s interests.

Books like How To Win Friends And Influence People

Here we include 5 examples of self-help books that will help you to win friends and influence the people around you..

Think and Grow Rich, By Napoleon Hill

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Think and grow rich is written by Napoleon hill. A young reporter meets one of the richest men in the world, Andrew Carnegie, who bestows a request on it to meet with successful people, interview them and extrapolate the principles they all shared to become rich.

The reporter, Napoleon Hill, accepts the challenge and writes this book for 25 years. He shares five main ideas in this incredible book. 

1. Desire. The initial point of all achievement is a burning desire, a goal, a magnificent obsession.

“The starting point of all achievement is DESIRE. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desire brings weak results, just as a small fire makes a small amount of heat.”

Napoleon HillThink and Grow Rich

Without a definite goal, a plan can never be thought of and written out, and there can be no real achievement. As the saying goes.

if you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll probably end up somewhere else.

David Campbell

 2. Autosuggestion. The programming of the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is like a garden. Weeds will grow in abundance if useful seeds aren’t sewn into them.

Autosuggestion is how an individual controls what goes into this rich garden of the mind. If a person hand over that control, he lets random leads overtake the garden. Human beings are the masters of their faith and can control their destiny because they control their subconscious minds. 

3. The power of the mastermind.

Men/women take on the nature and habits in the power of thought of those with whom they associate in the spirit of sympathy and harmony.

Napoleon Hill

In other words, the people you link with will shape you to make sure you choose wisely. Build a team of like-minded individuals around you who are equally passionate about achieving a common goal. 

4. The transmutation of sexual energy. This is one of the very few personal development books that tackle the topic of translating sexual energy into money and success.

Napoleon Hill goes into the length of why this is detrimental to success and how it can be accomplished. History is full of examples of great leaders whose achievements can be traced directly to the influence of the opposite sex.

 5. The six ghosts of fear and how to overcome them. “Fears are nothing more than states of mind. one state of mind is subject to control and direction”. 

Presented with their symptoms and cures of –

  • The fear of poverty;
  • The fear of criticism;
  • The fear of ill health;
  • The fear of loss of love of someone;
  • The fear of old age and;
  • The fear of death. 

The book ends with a series of 61 self-analysis questions. If done thoroughly, the answering could take you up to two to three days, but afterward, you’ll know more about yourself than the majority of people.

This is one of the books like How to Win Friends and Influence People because both of the books’ authors are talking about the psychological power of thought and the brain. In addition, here are ten motivational books like Think and Grow Rich

Rich Dad Poor Dad, By Robert T. Kiyosaki

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Robert T. Kiyosaki, The author of this book, introduces his two fathers in this book. One is his biological father, who is highly educated but did not have a financial education. Another is his friend Mike’s father, who did not complete his eighth grade but is good at money-making.

Robert shares the financial knowledge he gathered for over 30 years from his Rich Dad in this book. He also shares some stories of his own idea of getting rich. If you are searching for a book related to personal finance or self-help, ‘Rich Dad Poor Dad’ is an excellent book for you. 

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, By Dale Carnegie

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If you can’t stop thinking about the future, you will always have the next thing to worry about. Most people’s lives revolve around warring, and it’s draining them mentally and physically. 

The only way out of it is to live in what Dale Carnegie calls “day-tight-compartments.” It means you wake up, get out of bed and worry only about what you’re going to do on that particular day. Live your life step by step. You don’t have to worry about tomorrow unless you are already there.

You have to set goals for the future and plan your life and all that, but after you set future goals, there is absolutely no meaning in the morning about what will happen the next day, next year, or the year after. It’s a waste of time and energy. 

Dale Carnegie Share with us three principles in this book where you can apply to fix your worries: 

Number one – Don’t think about what will happen in the future and about what happened yesterday. 

The best possible way to prepare for tomorrow is to concentrate with all your intelligence, all your enthusiasm, on doing today’s work superbly today. That is the only possible way you can prepare for the future.

Dale CarnegieHow to Stop Worrying and Start Living

Number Two – Cooperative with the inevitable. Suppose you are aware that you have no control over a situation and you have no choice but to accept the fact.

Number Three – Lose yourself in action, in service for a purpose. Find something that you really enjoy doing and go on a journey to build that skill and make something big out of it.

This is one of the great books similar to How to Win Friends and Influence People. However, this book is not related to influencing others; it improves us to have peaceful, untroubled, and harmonious lives. 

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, By Stephen Covey

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Much of recent business success has been based on cultivating a positive personality. This emphasis is incorrect: washing yourself to project a personality that is at odds with your character is equivalent to putting on a mask. It’s deceptive, manipulative, and ultimately destructive.

However, developing a sound character is more important and more productive. You can act consistently in crucial ways without changing your personality. Without changing who you are. So what are these habits?

Number 1: Highly effective people take the initiative; they are proactive. They understand that they have the power to choose what kind of person they want to be and how they will behave. 

Number 2: Effective people focus on goals

It’s about knowing what you have and where you’re going. Assume you’re in the back of the building, attending your own funeral. What do people say about you based on how you are now?

They’d express how you want to be remembered. If not, make a move. Make a personal mission statement outlining your objectives and explaining the kind of person you want to be. Make a decision on what you want to change and who you want to be.

Number 3: Effective people set priorities

Never mix up the least important objectives with the most crucial objectives. Emphasize planning to avoid pitfalls and develop relationships.

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Consider your different responsibilities as a partner, parent, or boss. Give each job an insufficient amount of time on your plan to ensure that they get its due.

Number 4: Think Win-Win

Create high-trust relationships to collaborate more efficiently.

Number 5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood 

Build a thorough understanding of others’ desires and experiences to influence them.

Number 6: Synergize

Create creative strategies that take advantage of diversity and meet the needs of all key stakeholders.

Number 7: Sharpen the saw.

Make time for renewing activities to boost motivation, endurance, and work/life balance.

The power of habit, By Charles Duhigg

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How to change a habit? Most people don’t think this matters. However, the study discovered that up to 40% of our everyday acts are habitual. We will change our lives if we can change our habits.

A three-part loop can be used to break down any habit. Cue, routine and reward. For example – your alarm clock rings in the morning. That’s your cue. You enter the bathroom and brush your teeth as is routine.

In this case, your reward will be a minty, tingling feeling in your mouth. When a loop is completed, the brain activities increase, reinforcing the connection between the cue and the routine. This is how habits form.

Habits persist because they bring out a desire. It’s difficult to break a bad habit because you grow a desire for the reward at the other end of the habit loop. 

The golden rule of habit is discussed by Charles Duhigg. When it comes to breaking every habit, the golden rule is to redirect the craving rather than resisting it.

Adjust the routine that happens as a result of the craving while keeping the same cue and reward.

Willpower is the most critical component of habit formation, but it is also the most complex. Willpower, it turns out, is similar to a muscle. It can be strengthened by engaging in behaviors that require commitment.

Following habits is important not only in our personal lives, but also in organizations and businesses. A cue, routine, and reward loop are present in all behaviors. The only way to change this is to replace one routine with another.

This is one of the best psychological books like how to win friends and Influence People because it focuses on habits and is a great self-help book. In addition, here are seven best books similar to The Power of Habit.

Final Words

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